You Can Do It!

Image

I survived, along with my cast and crew, the 1st day of shooting a short film I co-wrote with my friend, Jesse (http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jessekoepke/flower-a-short-film). Not only did I survive, I did it! I directed. I told people what to do. I took suggestions. I made decisions. I said no. I called “Action” and “Quiet on the set.” Image

Image

As I’m getting ready to shoot today, I’m reminded of when I first started this journey. I scribbled down pictures and lines I heard on a steno pad in pink ink 4 years ago, around this time. I was slightly annoyed that God so flippantly (IMHO) gave me a movie idea with no training. I also had no desire to write films…let alone make one. Fast forward 3 and a half years to me sitting with Jesse, agreeing that this short film needed to be made. 

So here I am, deciding on what to wear on the set of a film that I cried over…screamed about…threw away…and prayed for. I don’t believe in luck…but I do believe in God. And I know that this is something I was created for.

This post isn’t for my fans (all 3 of you, lol), but to the one who is discouraged that their life isn’t coming together the way they’d hoped…who isn’t sure that the “creative” life is for them…who has heard people tell them to “Get a real job and stop being lazy,” when they’re anything but…who would rather dream of making a better world by creating than by complaining….
This post is for you, friend. Know that God is faithful and will not put anything in you that is not to be used. You don’t have to be a doctor or lawyer or be someone who has an office job…you can create. You can do it. Keep praying. Keep writing. Keep coming up with ideas that no one has thought about, let alone tried. Keep making art. Its what keeps you going…don’t give up. 

 

 

MOVIE!!! (or Why I Love Teaching Drama to Teens)

I’m making a movie. I thought about making this post about all the cool technical stuff or the amazing actors or even about how its hard to make films with a good message that aren’t cheesy….but I think I will focus on what making a movie does to my heart.
First of all, I’m not making this movie on my own. I got the idea 4 years ago and got to flesh out the story with my friend, Jesse. Jesse studied film and is a brilliant writer. Not only did we write it together, we’re also directing it together.
Next, we are raising money to make this movie happen. We have great actors and an awesome crew. Seriously…they are rock stars. We want to be able to make this film the best we can make it and that costs. We have to raise $4000 by July 10th at 10am CST. As of this moment, we are just over $1600 away from our goal. (http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jessekoepke/flower-a-short-film)

That was the back story.

Basically, I feel like a dumb failure 95% of the time. I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing with the actors or the script. I feel like I am not the right person for this. I look in the mirror and wonder why I am even making a movie. What made me think that I was the kind of girl who could make movies? I’m still that little girl who grew up in the hood and escaped her reality with books and movies. I’m no one special. I am not the nicest…not the smartest…not the prettiest….not even the coolest. But here I am. I am a film maker (or at least I will be by July 21, 2012). I am a success because God loves me and I was chosen to do this.
This last week I had the opportunity to teach drama to about 30 teens from around the US. They came to a little camp called the Awakening Teen Camp (http://www.ihopkc.org/atc/). They were awesome. I mention them because they helped me get over myself. I watched a girl who had the worst stage fright, leap on stage and say her 1 line with boldness. A young boy told me that, while he only took drama because it was the “inside” elective, his “heart was awakened to the coolness of acting.” A group of kids, who are slightly misunderstood, took the stage and welcomed the applause that followed their awesome performance.
If they can do that, then I can make a movie. If they can realize that the art they create is far greater than the fear of making it AND if they can see the benefit of facing their fears, then what the heck am I complaining about?
I am making a movie. No, I do not feel qualified, and there are probably 500 people who could make a better movie than me, but I am the one who is making it. I get to make it. And sometimes, teaching drama at a camp in Kansas City, helps you see that you matter and what you put out into the world matters.

New Blog

So, today is a 2nd attempt at a blog. I have always been the one to start something but always wind up not finishing it. This has been my life…up until I turned 30. IDK what the heck happened, but all of a sudden I became more aware of what not finishing means. It means that I couldn’t take the time to care about something all the way to the end. Let’s see…there’s the photography course I took in the 7th grade Gifted Ed class. I never turned in my final project. Then the owl pellet/ rat reconstruction…don’t ask. Lots of bones and grossness. Oh, and the scrapbooking project I’ve been doing since I was 22. Yeah…there are lots of things that I haven’t finished.

I am currently serving as a missionary/live broadcast manager/media producer at the International House of Prayer (www.ihop.org) in Kansas City. I am constantly working on projects and praying that I finish them. I have to remind myself that I LOVE my job and that it would look bad if I just left things undone.

I’m really glad that God isn’t like that. I mean, it says that He is faithful to complete the good work that He started in me (Phil 1:6). That means, when I fail…and I do all the time…the Lord doesn’t just go…”Oh well, she’s ruined.” But He looks at me and sees a whole and complete woman who is walking in His ways. This concept is so hard to grasp. So often we sit and count ourselves out of the race…happy to just get a little plot of land on the “outskirts of heaven,” when our rightful place is seated with God.

I remember all the things that I started but never completed and am so grateful that the One I serve is faithful to the core (1 Thess 5:24). He will never leave me unfinished. This blog…much like my life…is a work in progress.