MOVIE!!! (or Why I Love Teaching Drama to Teens)

I’m making a movie. I thought about making this post about all the cool technical stuff or the amazing actors or even about how its hard to make films with a good message that aren’t cheesy….but I think I will focus on what making a movie does to my heart.
First of all, I’m not making this movie on my own. I got the idea 4 years ago and got to flesh out the story with my friend, Jesse. Jesse studied film and is a brilliant writer. Not only did we write it together, we’re also directing it together.
Next, we are raising money to make this movie happen. We have great actors and an awesome crew. Seriously…they are rock stars. We want to be able to make this film the best we can make it and that costs. We have to raise $4000 by July 10th at 10am CST. As of this moment, we are just over $1600 away from our goal. (http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jessekoepke/flower-a-short-film)

That was the back story.

Basically, I feel like a dumb failure 95% of the time. I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing with the actors or the script. I feel like I am not the right person for this. I look in the mirror and wonder why I am even making a movie. What made me think that I was the kind of girl who could make movies? I’m still that little girl who grew up in the hood and escaped her reality with books and movies. I’m no one special. I am not the nicest…not the smartest…not the prettiest….not even the coolest. But here I am. I am a film maker (or at least I will be by July 21, 2012). I am a success because God loves me and I was chosen to do this.
This last week I had the opportunity to teach drama to about 30 teens from around the US. They came to a little camp called the Awakening Teen Camp (http://www.ihopkc.org/atc/). They were awesome. I mention them because they helped me get over myself. I watched a girl who had the worst stage fright, leap on stage and say her 1 line with boldness. A young boy told me that, while he only took drama because it was the “inside” elective, his “heart was awakened to the coolness of acting.” A group of kids, who are slightly misunderstood, took the stage and welcomed the applause that followed their awesome performance.
If they can do that, then I can make a movie. If they can realize that the art they create is far greater than the fear of making it AND if they can see the benefit of facing their fears, then what the heck am I complaining about?
I am making a movie. No, I do not feel qualified, and there are probably 500 people who could make a better movie than me, but I am the one who is making it. I get to make it. And sometimes, teaching drama at a camp in Kansas City, helps you see that you matter and what you put out into the world matters.

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